The G-String Becomes the C-String
August 29, 2008
The G-string has certainly come a long way since the invention of the loincloth. The miracle of modern technology and invention has finally updated the G-string once again by getting rid of the string. When I first heard about this, I was skeptical, but it looks like these things might actually work. I wonder if the next Soulcalibur or Dead or Alive game will feature these. It’s still not too late for some DLC.
Via Geekologie
Movie Watch: Virgin Territory Review
August 29, 2008
Aside from his title role as Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode II and III, Hayden Christensen hasn’t been the most high profile name in Hollywood. He stars in “Virgin Territory,” which dares to mix “A Knight’s Tale” with the stale sex comedy formula similar to “American Pie.” Is it worth 90 minutes of your time?
While the formulaic story that the movie freely falls into might make viewers turn away from it, the medieval guise actually makes it feel fresh. And for those of you who love the genre, there definitely isn’t a shortage of bare breasts and nude women thrown at the viewer — a priority for VT.
Mainly, it’s a showcase for the typical male’s (hopeful) thinking of the inner workings of a convent and it might be construed as a bit blasphemous. The way society seems to be going nowadays, though, it might not be too far off the mark. Still, a social statement it’s not and viewers should take it as a fun sex comedy that generously takes some religious liberties along the way.
VT uses the Medieval Times, during the plague epidemic, as its backdrop which it…quickly disregards. The story unfolds with a tale about a corrupt lender, Gerbino de la Ratta, who goes after the now-dead King’s daughter, Pampinea, and is presented with more than a few road blocks, of course.
Both Mischa Barton (of Fox’s The OC fame) and her lover-to-be Hayden Christensen (as Lorenzo) fail to produce any chemistry between them, but the plot’s humor and supporting cast more than makes up for their lack of enthusiasm.
Tim Roth’s Gerbino, the “rat,” is as slimy and conniving as his nick name implies in all his lazily-held sword glory. Likewise, Craig Parkinson’s Tindaro, pretending to be a priest, uplifts the movie above mediocrity as he provides the funniest lines in the film. The “stars” definitely play second fiddle to the memorable side characters.
Overall, the film’s setting gives off the impression that it’ll have darker themes and a serious tone, but it defies your expectations and makes it surprisingly funny and, at times, unpredictable. At the very least, you’ve never seen a sexier cow-milking scene than the one depicted here.
Medieval Quotes:
- “Funny, cos I always thought he was the biggest dick in town.”
- “Don’t get sultry!”
- “Hear no evil, speak no evil.”
- “I’ve never talked so much bollocks in all my life. Thank God for being a priest.”
- “It’s the clothes. All priests look the same.”
- “You had you’re hand…down on my root!”
Cow-milking and respectable sword swinging aside, “Virgin Territory”’s main problem is that its thesis — not all virgins are angels, and not all angels are virgins — is overdone by slapping the viewer over the head with it. Its anti-virginity theme is likely present to incite some discussion, but if it had been more subtle it would’ve worked just the same.
The film isn’t without its obvious flaws, but we’ll give it the rental nod. Because, unlike all the other sex comedies that retread through the same story and characters, “Virgin Territory” mixes it up with a new setting and plenty of laughs that makes for a quality hour and a half movie watch — even if you’re just in it for the naked chicks.
DVD Release: August 26, 2008
[Editor’s Note: Walking down the aisles of your favorite retailer you’ll see movies that you’ve never heard of. Even if you’d like to know how they fare no one cares enough to review them! That’s where “Movie Watch” comes in…oh, and we’ll try to cover movies on Xbox Live from time to time. Because if you’re gonna spend those confusing Microsoft points on something other than games, it better be worth it, right?]
More Movie Watch:
The American Mall
Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
Batman - Gotham Knight
Like a Dragon (Ryu Ga Gotoku)
Raising Jeffrey Dahmer
Kezins.com eNews & Updates Live
August 26, 2008
For some reason our eNews & Updates form at the top of the site wasn’t working, but we have it fixed for your viewing pleasure. If you’d like to receive updates from our site, this is the easiest way to get them. Subscribing to the feed will send our daily content to your inbox, which is a lot more convenient than having to check an RSS feed or browse the site each day. We’d still appreciate a comment here and there though. You can use the form at the top right of our site or the one I posted below. Thanks for checking out our site!
Kezins’ Top Posts of the Week
August 23, 2008
This was one of the best weeks we’ve had on the site in a long time. As far as traffic, it was probably the best week we have had in 2 months, which makes all of us happy. We’d like to thank our loyal readers and random visitors for making things happen. Hopefully we can expand and make some bigger things happen if we continue the way we have been. Our top article received over 15,000 unique views this week and covered the topic of the famous “Wilhelm Scream”.
Top Ten Posts:
Space Invaders Attack The World Trade Center
August 20, 2008
Kotaku recently posted a disturbing photograph of a Space Invaders game where the aliens are attack the twin towers. All I can say is that this isn’t amusing, entertaining or funny in any way. Apparently the game was on display in hall #4 of the Games Convention in Leipzig, Germany. It was projected on a massive screen near the Space Invaders 30th anniversary display. I’m not sure who was responsible for this, but they should really be ashamed of themselves. Over 2,700 innocent people were killed on 9/11 in those towers and I’d assume people could find ways to remember them in a positive way, not poke fun at what happened. While I always respect people’s rights to artistic expression, I also respect the right to tell them that their work is out of line.
Via Kotaku
Kezins’ Top Posts Of The Week
August 16, 2008
We write a ton of posts on Kezins.com, so it doesn’t take long for an article to work it’s way off the front page and into the abyss where some people may never find them. Because of this, we have decided to post links to our most popular articles from the week each Saturday. Some articles may be from long ago, yet still popular like Juan’s “7 Greatest Video Game Urban Legends”. If you’d like to see our all-time most popular posts, just click on Top Posts at the top menu.
The Top Ten:
Word of the Day: “Bitchassness”
August 13, 2008
We decided to start a new segment on the site called “Word of the Day”. Our challenge to you is to find a way to use each word of the day to enhance your life. I’m a huge fan addict of Dictionary.com’s “Word of the Day” but we’ll be choosing terms that you are unlikely to find there. Today’s word of the day is “bitchassness” coined by P Diddy on Making The Band. I find that this particular word is appropriate for the gaming world as well. If you play a lot of online games, you certainly run into numerous people who fall into this term.
The term basically refers to negative actions towards others through words and expressions. If you think you are better than those around you, like to lie or are just a shady individual, you probably suffer from bitchassness.
‘Mario Super Sluggers’; Just Wii Sports Baseball With A Few Extras?
August 12, 2008
When I first heard about ‘Mario Super Sluggers’, I was expecting ‘Wii Sports Baseball’ with a Mario skin. While some may see it this way, I’m basically considering it an advanced sequel to the Wii Sports Baseball game which was highly flawed. Fortunately, the Mario baseball game will allow you to control more than just hitting and pitching. As expected, you will see Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser and Wario etc in the game, as well as your Mii if you chose to use it. Up to four players can take part in the action at once and the game is full of fun mini-games.
While it may look like a cheap way to get more out of ‘Wii Sports Baseball’, this title actually looks like it will be pretty good. You can find out on August 25 when the game releases in North America for $49.99.
