People have been talking about a “Gamer Bill of Rights” for years and now and PC Stardock Publisher just released their idea for a bill at PAX. While I certainly think gamers need rights, I’m not so sure we need a bill of any kind. We should simply be protected like all other consumers. Here is Stardock’s bill and my opinion in blue.
Aside from his title role as Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode II and III, Hayden Christensen hasn’t been the most high profile name in Hollywood. He stars in “Virgin Territory,” which dares to mix “A Knight’s Tale” with the stale sex comedy formula similar to “American Pie.” Is it worth 90 minutes of your time?
While the formulaic story that the movie freely falls into might make viewers turn away from it, the medieval guise actually makes it feel fresh. And for those of you who love the genre, there definitely isn’t a shortage of bare breasts and nude women thrown at the viewer — a priority for VT.
Mainly, it’s a showcase for the typical male’s (hopeful) thinking of the inner workings of a convent and it might be construed as a bit blasphemous. The way society seems to be going nowadays, though, it might not be too far off the mark. Still, a social statement it’s not and viewers should take it as a fun sex comedy that generously takes some religious liberties along the way.
VT uses the Medieval Times, during the plague epidemic, as its backdrop which it…quickly disregards. The story unfolds with a tale about a corrupt lender, Gerbino de la Ratta, who goes after the now-dead King’s daughter, Pampinea, and is presented with more than a few road blocks, of course.
Both Mischa Barton (of Fox’s The OC fame) and her lover-to-be Hayden Christensen (as Lorenzo) fail to produce any chemistry between them, but the plot’s humor and supporting cast more than makes up for their lack of enthusiasm.
Tim Roth’s Gerbino, the “rat,” is as slimy and conniving as his nick name implies in all his lazily-held sword glory. Likewise, Craig Parkinson’s Tindaro, pretending to be a priest, uplifts the movie above mediocrity as he provides the funniest lines in the film. The “stars” definitely play second fiddle to the memorable side characters.
Overall, the film’s setting gives off the impression that it’ll have darker themes and a serious tone, but it defies your expectations and makes it surprisingly funny and, at times, unpredictable. At the very least, you’ve never seen a sexier cow-milking scene than the one depicted here.
Medieval Quotes:
- “Funny, cos I always thought he was the biggest dick in town.”
- “Don’t get sultry!”
- “Hear no evil, speak no evil.”
- “I’ve never talked so much bollocks in all my life. Thank God for being a priest.”
- “It’s the clothes. All priests look the same.”
- “You had you’re hand…down on my root!”
Cow-milking and respectable sword swinging aside, “Virgin Territory”’s main problem is that its thesis — not all virgins are angels, and not all angels are virgins — is overdone by slapping the viewer over the head with it. Its anti-virginity theme is likely present to incite some discussion, but if it had been more subtle it would’ve worked just the same.
The film isn’t without its obvious flaws, but we’ll give it the rental nod. Because, unlike all the other sex comedies that retread through the same story and characters, “Virgin Territory” mixes it up with a new setting and plenty of laughs that makes for a quality hour and a half movie watch — even if you’re just in it for the naked chicks.
DVD Release: August 26, 2008
[Editor’s Note: Walking down the aisles of your favorite retailer you’ll see movies that you’ve never heard of. Even if you’d like to know how they fare no one cares enough to review them! That’s where “Movie Watch” comes in…oh, and we’ll try to cover movies on Xbox Live from time to time. Because if you’re gonna spend those confusing Microsoft points on something other than games, it better be worth it, right?]
Deciding who the best Joker was in various comic based films and television shows is no easy task. We recently posted the “Top Five Joker Quotes From ‘Batman: The Dark Knight’” which included the debate of Nicholson vs. Ledger in the comments. This time we want to make it official and poll the readers with the question “who was the best Joker?”
Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.
Cesar Romero
Cesar Romero was the Joker of the 1960s, playing the role in 18 episodes of the television series. He also reprised the role in the 1966 film.
We thought we had seen all of the cheap Guitar Hero knockoffs but yet another one pops up. This time it’s Guitar Praise for the PC. Unlike other GH knockoffs, this one actually costs more than the real thing with the price tag of $99.95. You can currently pick up Guitar Hero III (PC) with guitar for about $70. I guess if you want to rock out with Jesus, you’ll be paying extra.
You can pre-order this game to make sure you get your copy in September from the company website. Here’s their description of the experience:
Grab the guitar and play along with top Christian bands! Shred those riffs or blast the bass…you add a unique sound to the solid Christian rock. But watch out: if you can’t keep up, the artists will take a break and stop the music. Crank it up and try again � you�ll soon be rockin’ with the best while praising the Lord! Order the second guitar and jam with a friend!
Here’s the playlist via Gizmodo (I haven’t heard of any of these people):
The Nintendo Wii really needed more RPGs and the console is starting to deliver. Ougon no Kizuna, being developed by Jaleco, may be one of the more interesting RPGs to hit consoles in some time. It’s also nice to see Jaleco back in action. They made some really awesome games back in the 1980s.
The game is an action-RPG, where you will use the Wii Nunchuck in battle. I don’t know a lot about the game yet, but it certainly looks like a title we need to keep our eyes on.
Scans Via Gamekyo via VG Chartz
We always read about strange Second Life stories, but this has to be the most interesting I have come across in a long time. For those of you who don’t know about Second Life, it’s an Internet-based virtual world that was launched back in 2003. Users or “residents” interact with each other with motional avatars, creating an advanced social networking environment. In this particular case, a resident in the virtual world has now become a criminal in the real world.
Kimberly Jernigan, 33, has been arrested for attempting to abduct her virtual ex-boyfriend in real life. She originally met the victim while playing Second Life. According to New Castle County, Del. police, Jernigan hid inside the ex-boyfriend’s home in Claymont, Del. as part of an abduction scheme. Keep in mind, she’s married and her husband also maintains online “relationships” with various Second Life women. She was caught hiding in the home armed with a taser. No mention was made as to how she was caught. The police report that she planned to abduct him and start a new life together.
I’ve seen some great Zelda pieces over the years, and this has to be up there with the best. ‘Ocarina of Time’ was perhaps the best of all Zelda games and the Sheik had a little something to do with that. The character is as mysterious now as he was back then. ”The Sheik” by First4Figures is currently selling for $99.90 on Play-Asia and will probably not remain on the site for too long. Click on the image below or this link to find out more…
I’ve finally had the time to run through the Star Wars: The Force Unleashed demo on Xbox LIVE a few times. The demo starts you out with “the apprentice” having a conversation with his master, Darth Vader. This really sets the tone for the demo and hopefully we’ll see many conversations like this in the full game.
You start the level oboard a giant ship and your goal is to kill everyone and everything. Before you go on your rampage, it’s a lot of fun to start picking up random containers and throw them wherever you please with your powers. The demo also starts you off with numerous force abilities including dash, defend, the saber attack, high jump, Force Lightning, Force Push and Force Grip. While nearly all work flawlessly with the simple control scheme, I wasn’t too thrilled with the defending ability. While standing still, it’s easy to defend against blaster attacks, but it’s a little tricky to defend yourself while moving. Other than that, movement is fairly fluid and feels right. Flinging objects at your whim is probably the #1 aspect of the demo. It’s definitely a fun feeling to fling a canister at a moving Tie-Fighter to take it out of the sky.
“Dates-wise I also discovered that the first piece of GTA downloadable content will be arriving in November as well. Very little details were given but I was assured it would be sizable bringing roughly 15 hours of additional play time.” - Chris from RPG-TV
Kotaku pointed us to the above RPG-TV blog which gives us a clearer picture of when we can hope to get some more Grand Theft Auto’ing done.
Rockstar has previously stated that it would break a few price barriers when they released the exclusive Xbox 360 DLC this fall and, if the above is accurate, it looks like gamers will get their full money’s worth.
Would you guys mind paying more than premium prices (likely above $30) for an additional 15 hours of GTA IV content?
We all know that Microsoft has motion control games, Mii-like avatars and Wii-mote-like controllers up their sleeves. A new rumor has surfaced that the new Arcade bundle headed to shelves this fall will probably include motion controlers and mini-games that use the technology. For now, I’d set this rumor as questionable. Various game blogs have been throwing up motion control rumors for months and they usually turn out to be false. This time, the rumor came from Xbox 360 Fanboy. They have been credible in the past with rumors, but this one is just worded a little funny. According to the site, they got this rumor from ”a tip from a source close to Microsoft’s marketing department,”. Believe it if you want, but there’s really not much behind this one.
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