Noel Gallagher has been making some rather odd comments concerning video games lately. A while back, he pretty much blamed violent video games for random stabbings in England. This is what he had to say about Guitar Hero:

“If it puts little plastic guitars into kids’ hands and fires their imaginations, I think that’s a good thing. It’s harmless fun, innit,” he said.

“I’d rather that genre of videogames than somebody getting their fucking head chopped off with a samurai sword while getting fucked by a goblin up the arse with a laser. Do you know what I mean?”

I’m not quite sure if Gallagher says these things because he believes them or because he thinks they are witty. He might be wrong on both accounts, but his statements are always amusing. I’m sure Gallagher will publicly blame video games when the first troll gets abused by a goblin “up the arse with a laser” in real life. Dig Out Your Soul comes out next month and is the 7th Oasis album. Let’s hope it’s at least on the level of Don’t Believe The Truth. I’ll just never like Oasis the way I did their first few albums, but they still put out good music.

Quote via videogaming247

written by Will Snizek \\ tags: arse, Don, England, fun, genre, goblin, Guitar, head, Hero, Hero Noel Gallagher, innit, Laser, Noel Gallagher, Oasis, plastic, samurai, somebody, Sword, thing, video

This may surprise some of you, but we love more than just video games on Kezins. It seems everyone on the web publishes their iPod playlist, so we decided to let our readers know what music we are listening to. The first list is Will’s favorite 20 songs. We’ll be publishing lists from the other writers (possible some from other sites too) in the near future. I currently have over 12,000 songs on my iPod plus all the stacks of CDs, so it wasn’t easy figuring out what my favorites were. Nirvana and The Killers are probably my two favorite bands of all-time, but I decided to only post one song per artist. Feel free to comment on my picks or list your favorites below, but no Coldplay bashing!

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written by Will Snizek \\ tags: Aimee Mann, Al Green, Alice, Ben Harper, Black, Coldplay, Don, everyone, Feel, future, gun, iPod, Janie, Jesus, John Mayer, Kezins, King, list, Music, Pepper, Playlist, Sunshine, Than Ezra, video, Want, wasn, web

Aside from his title role as Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode II and III, Hayden Christensen hasn’t been the most high profile name in Hollywood. He stars in “Virgin Territory,” which dares to mix “A Knight’s Tale” with the stale sex comedy formula similar to “American Pie.” Is it worth 90 minutes of your time?

While the formulaic story that the movie freely falls into might make viewers turn away from it, the medieval guise actually makes it feel fresh. And for those of you who love the genre, there definitely isn’t a shortage of bare breasts and nude women thrown at the viewer — a priority for VT.

Mainly, it’s a showcase for the typical male’s (hopeful) thinking of the inner workings of a convent and it might be construed as a bit blasphemous. The way society seems to be going nowadays, though, it might not be too far off the mark. Still, a social statement it’s not and viewers should take it as a fun sex comedy that generously takes some religious liberties along the way.

VT uses the Medieval Times, during the plague epidemic, as its backdrop which it…quickly disregards. The story unfolds with a tale about a corrupt lender, Gerbino de la Ratta, who goes after the now-dead King’s daughter, Pampinea, and is presented with more than a few road blocks, of course.

Both Mischa Barton (of Fox’s The OC fame) and her lover-to-be Hayden Christensen (as Lorenzo) fail to produce any chemistry between them, but the plot’s humor and supporting cast more than makes up for their lack of enthusiasm.

Tim Roth’s Gerbino, the “rat,” is as slimy and conniving as his nick name implies in all his lazily-held sword glory. Likewise, Craig Parkinson’s Tindaro, pretending to be a priest, uplifts the movie above mediocrity as he provides the funniest lines in the film. The “stars” definitely play second fiddle to the memorable side characters.

Overall, the film’s setting gives off the impression that it’ll have darker themes and a serious tone, but it defies your expectations and makes it surprisingly funny and, at times, unpredictable. At the very least, you’ve never seen a sexier cow-milking scene than the one depicted here.

Medieval Quotes:

• “Funny, cos I always thought he was the biggest dick in town.”
• “Don’t get sultry!”
• “Hear no evil, speak no evil.”
• “I’ve never talked so much bollocks in all my life. Thank God for being a priest.”
• “It’s the clothes. All priests look the same.”
• “You had you’re hand…down on my root!”

Cow-milking and respectable sword swinging aside, “Virgin Territory”’s main problem is that its thesis — not all virgins are angels, and not all angels are virgins — is overdone by slapping the viewer over the head with it. Its anti-virginity theme is likely present to incite some discussion, but if it had been more subtle it would’ve worked just the same.

The film isn’t without its obvious flaws, but we’ll give it the rental nod. Because, unlike all the other sex comedies that retread through the same story and characters, “Virgin Territory” mixes it up with a new setting and plenty of laughs that makes for a quality hour and a half movie watch — even if you’re just in it for the naked chicks.

DVD Release: August 26, 2008

[Editor’s Note: Walking down the aisles of your favorite retailer you’ll see movies that you’ve never heard of. Even if you’d like to know how they fare no one cares enough to review them! That’s where “Movie Watch” comes in…oh, and we’ll try to cover movies on Xbox Live from time to time. Because if you’re gonna spend those confusing Microsoft points on something other than games, it better be worth it, right?]

written by Carlos Macias \\ tags: American, Barton, comedy, Craig Parkinson, Don, Gerbino, Hayden Christensen, Hollywood, Jeffrey Dahmer, Knight, movie, Name, sex, story, Tale, Territory, Tim Roth, time, viewer, Virgin, Watch, way

If you have followed my writing over the past few years, you wouldn’t be surprised to find out that I’m not the biggest Nintendo Wii fan on the planet. When I hear people talking about how it’s the greatest console ever, I just find it extremely difficult to understand how they could possibly think this. Nintendo fanboys sometimes remind me of women with battered person syndrome. The Wii is basically like a busted crack head who beats his wife (the Nintendo Wii fanboy) yet she still loves him for some reason. It simply does not make the least bit of sense. Don’t take my post too personal. I still enjoy certain aspects of the Wii. I just find that it’s a highly flawed system that receives far more kudos than it should have.

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written by Will Snizek \\ tags: bit, Console, Don, Greatest, Mario, Mike Tyson, MotionPlus, multiplayer, Nintendo, Nintendo Wii, NOT, Online, problem, support, system, thing, time, Virtual

Kezins.com recently asked if you thought LittleBigPlanet would impact PS3 Sales. To our surprise, many of you said “Yes, it will”. Carlos recently wrote what you’ll get with either GameStop’s or Amazon’s version of LittleBigPlanet coming October 21st.

Here is what Amazon’s deal will offer:

Amazon.com Exclusive Pre-Order Bonus
Pre-order today and receive an Amazon.com exclusive official “LittleBigPlanet Creator” MiniGuide. Instructions will be e-mailed to pre-order customers after the game has released. Offer good while supplies last. Offer limited to products shipped and sold by Amazon.com.

written by Juan Perez \\ tags: Amazon, bonus, Carlos, com, deal, Don, Gamestop, Kezins, LittleBigPlanet, Offer, Order, Pre, Pre-order, recentlty, surprise, Today, version

International Movie Star/Model Maggie Q to star in the upcoming EA Racing Game Need For Speed Undercover.  Coming to the PS3, X360, Wii, DS, PSP and PC November 18th.

Don’t know how they do it, but the Need for Speed team keeps rolling in hot chicks to star in their video games.  The “Balls of Fury” ping pong star will be featured in EA’s Need For Speed: Undercover.  I’m a fan of Need for Speed, and their great in-game videos.  They’ve used very attractive women before, but I think Maggie Q is their biggest star.  I guess Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift motivated Maggie Q.

EA’s Need for Speed Undercover takes the franchise back to its roots and re-introduces break-neck cop chases, the world’s hottest cars and spectacular highway battles.

“Need for Speed Undercover features a deep and engaging story of spectacular Hollywood-style live-action that will transport players into the fictional world of the Tri-City Bay Area,” said Bill Harrison, Need for Speed Undercover Executive Producer. “Working with talent the caliber of Maggie Q allows us to deliver an unparalleled level of storytelling that will keep players engaged in between 180-mile-an-hour races.”

Maggie Q, who has starred in Mission Impossible III and Live Free or Die Hard, plays Federal Agent Chase Linh, a seductive handler who recruits and guides players as they go undercover. Players will take on dangerous jobs and compete in races in order to infiltrate and takedown a ruthless international crime syndicate.

“I’ve always been a fan of racing games and working on Need for Speed Undercover was an amazing experience,” said Maggie Q. “I was so impressed by the scope and quality of the overall production that goes into a videogame these days. It was like any other day on a Hollywood set; I felt right at home. The Black Box team is doing tremendous work here and I can’t wait to see the final game.”

Need for Speed Undercover is being developed by Black Box in Vancouver, B.C., and is slated to be in stores North America on November 18 and in Europe on November 21. The game will be available for Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system, PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system, and Wii™ as well as the PlayStation®2 computer entertainment system, Nintendo DS™, PSP® (PlayStation® Portable) handheld entertainment system, PC and mobile.

Via PressRelease

written by Juan Perez \\ tags: B.C, Balls, Bay Area, Bill Harrison, Black, Box, computer, Don, Entertainment, Europe, Executive Producer, Fury, game, Hollywood, Linh, Maggie, North America, November, Playstation, Star, system, Team, Tri-City, Undercover, Vancouver, video, world

Some people are trying to boycott Tropic Thunder because they use the word “retard(ed)” in the film.  Others have claimed that Robert Downey Jr’s character is basically “black face”.  The difference between “black face” and what we see with Tropic Thunder is that TT is meant to be funny, not hurtful.  As far as people complaining about the use of the word “retard(ed)”, grow the fuck up.  It actually shocks me that news anchors are calling it the “R” word now.  The film is not making light of mental conditions and any moron could figure that out. People opposed to the film are taking quotes from the film out of context. Until they take the word retarded out of the dictionary, I have no problem with someone using it.  The Bush administration hasn’t taken away free speech from us yet, so there’s really no room for people to complain.  You people need to lighten up and grow thicker skin or just never leave your house.  The PC movement in America simply continues to go too far.  I’m not sure if there’s anything left in this world that doesn’t offend them.  This post will probably offend them and I could honestly care less.

With that said, Tropic Thunder is probably the best comedy I have seen in several years.  If you like laughing, this film is non-stop laughs from start to end.  Don’t let the haters keep you from watching a really funny film.

written by Will Snizek \\ tags: America, care, character, context, difference, Don, Face, Film, fuck, light, moron, news, problem, retard, retarded, Robert Downey Jr, Thunder, Tropic, Use, word

Release Date: August 6, 2008
Platform: Xbox 360 (XBLA)
Developer: Number None, Inc.
Publisher: Number None, Inc.
Genre: Puzzle-Platformer
Players: 1
MSRP: $15 (1200 Microsoft Points)
ESRB Rating: Everyone 10+

Jonathan Blow’s singular vision of a distraught hero looking for his princess unfolds in Braid to great effect. The title is set in a fictional, artful world that puts your time-traveling skills and smarts to the test. You’re only given one life but plenty of juice for you to manipulate time, a la Prince of Persia, which you can bend at will to make up for all the goof-ups you’re likely to accrue throughout your quest.

The premise is simple as you traverse five words with time-shifting moves at hand with an overall jigsaw puzzle for you to put together. In a change of pace from most modern games, though, this puzzle-platformer differs in that it’s actually pretty difficult to get through. A lot of the puzzles are mind-benders but the hard quotient is heightened when you consider that a lot of them require split-second timing to succeed.

You might want to try jumping on a FAQ several times throughout your adventure, but avoid doing so, because just like The Legend of Zelda series: half the fun is figuring out the challenging puzzles. Don’t worry, Braid will give you hints along the way. Never overly obvious, but similar to the movie The Sixth Sense, the game uses bright colors to represent key aspects of the setting.

Any color that stands out in Braid (Green, Purple, etc.) are essential to your progress from puzzle to puzzle suggesting ways that objects may or may not be manipulated with time.

Players shouldn’t worry about getting “stuck” in puzzles, though, as Number None cleverly made it so that you don’t have to solve the puzzles in a strictly linear fashion. You can skip any one that might be too difficult at the time and continue to the next one — free to come back whenever you want.

Another thing the game has going for it is its deeply emotional and rewarding story…if you want to explore it. The story is laid out before the actual “puzzle levels” in books you can read, but if you don’t want to deal with such trite, you can skip it and go straight for the action.

Graphically, Braid’s oil-painting look easily stands as one of the more polished XBLA titles available and not necessarily for pushing a specific poly count but for the attention to detail to every orifice of the game world. Every level and section is lovingly created; you can tell how much care the creators put in the fanciful world as you move from room to room.

While Braid is a definite cerebral experience wrapped up in relaxing, soothing art, it doesn’t come without its faults. Mainly, the lack of any real boss battles teasing the player with only a couple of noteworthy encounters. It’s understandable that the game is not entirely focused on combat, but it does present a few clever bosses that makes one wish it added more.

Besides that, the price tag is a bit pricey for a game that you’ll likely finish in an afternoon — maybe a couple days if you stretch it. And while this writer enjoyed the thought-provoking puzzles, they didn’t come without a few headaches and doubt that many gamers will finish it before getting frustrated at them first.

Gameplay: 2D platformer that messes with time to brilliant effect.

Graphics: Artful backgrounds with semi-ugly characters paint the landcape for the game.

Audio: Simple soundtrack which remixes itself when time is normal/manipulated.

Replay Value: A “speed run” option after the 4-5 hours it takes to beat the game; not much else.

Uniqueness: Takes time aspects of Blinx and Prince of Persia, touches it up, and blends it into a nice, digestible package.

How It Matches Up: One of the more ingenious puzzle-platforming game you’ll find.

Closing Statement:

At $15, Braid’s asking price might be a tad steeper than what we’re used to ponying up on XBLA but well worth the investment. It could’ve been a bit longer, added more bosses, and served the gamer to introduce techniques that were unexplained — i.e. the higher your fall, the higher you jump — but just make sure to bring your “breaking the fourth wall” hat and twitch-finger to get through the sometimes brutal puzzles and you’ll find a fun, original, little game within.

written by Carlos Macias \\ tags: Braid, Don, Effect, game, Inc, Jonathan Blow, None, number, Persia, platformer, Prince, puzzle, Quest, time, world, XBLA, Xbox, zelda

What the hell is ‘Cheetah Girls: Passport to Stardom’?.  I’m sure anyone reading this article will probably wonder the same thing.  Don’t worry.  I asked myself the exact same thing when I heard about the new Nintendo DS game hitting shelves tomorrow.  I assumed it had something to do with singing, dancing and fashion accessories and was somehow right.  

The game will include various songs from the Cheetah Girls movies.  Of course I’ve never watched any of them, so really can only go on what I was able to dig up with my Google-fu skills.  According to Wikipedia, the game will include the following features:

Play as Aqua, Chanel, and Dorinda as they dazzle fans worldwide with their music and dance coreography.

Explore 9 different locations as you perform in three international cities- New York, Barcelona and Mumbai!

Use your Nintendo DS stylus to compete in a series of dance-offs to 10 Cheetah Girls hit songs!

Includes new music from The Cheetah Girls: One World Disney Channel Original Movie.

Includes DGamer- the new online community exclusively for Disney gamers.

Unfortunately there really aren’t any other games of note coming out this weekend.  It’s been a rather slow week in games anyway.  The only game of note coming out in the near future is Madden 09 on Tuesday.

written by Will Snizek \\ tags: anyone, article, Barcelona, Cheetah, Disney Channel, Don, Dorinda, game, Girls, Hell, Mumbai, Music, New York, Nintendo, note, Passport, Shelves, something, stardom, thing, tomorrow

A leaked set list is almost never exactly like the final product, but it gives a pretty good idea of what to expect.  The Guitar Hero IV: World Tour set list was leaked and it doesn’t look too bad.  When Rock Band came out, I had mentioned to people that my Guitar Hero days were over.  With the additional of superior drums, it looks like GH is going to take the music game crown back in the near future.  Check out the list after the jump!

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written by Will Snizek \\ tags: aren, B Goode - Chuck, Billy IdolHeartbreaker - Pat, Black, Brooklyn, Chase City, Chili, doesn, Don, Eddie Van HalenHot, Fast Lane, Guitar, Hero, Hero IV, idea, Jack Flash, Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, Jimi HendrixPurple, Jimmy Eat, Joe SatrianiSchrei -Tokio, JoviParadise City, Judas PriestHallowed, leaked, Lenny KravitzI, list, look, Mary, Miss A Thing - AerosmithMan, Music, My Way, N RosesSong, Pearl JamSmells, product, Red, Rob ZombieBat, Rock Band, Set, Spirit, Stone, Tour, Van HalenStranglehold - Ted, world