“New Model. Original Parts.”
And you thought only games got remade. The above trailer should let you know that not only is the movie industry out of ideas, but it has taken yet another page out of gaming’s marketing plan.
”Fast and Furious” looks to give the original movie’s cast something to do after being out of (profitable) work for some time now.
The trailer is entertaining, though, and it makes us mildly interesting in the “film,” out next summer.
Via IGN
Johnny Rico is back after an eleven year hiatus from his first alien gorefest adventure in Starship Troopers 3: Marauder. Is his latest adventure worth a watch?
Well, you’d think in a movie that’s based around fighting bugs, it’d have more of them in it — but no. Aside from a couple of scenes where aliens come in and destroy a handful of soldiers, you’ll likely come out of Marauder highly disappointed as it switches its giant-ant shooting with religious preaching and weak one-liners; oh, yes, worse than in the first couple of movies.
The Starship Troopers series has never been a triple-A franchise right from the start but its loss of bugs and gibs give way to a simple story made worse by an overacting, underwhelming cast.
Jolene Blalock, who plays Lola Beck, is clearly placed in Marauder as an Angelina Jolie lookalike brought in to attract the young, male demographic; cleverly avoiding to dish out the money for the real deal.
The rest of the cast is just as bad as they belch out every line as if they’re going into an epic battle. Clearly, they’re not as they run around in cut-and-paste environments throughout the entirety of the film.
Marauder wouldn’t be so bad if it knew what it wanted to do. Some scenes point you towards a spoof on action movies but those type of movies strive from its friendly banter amongst the cast. Here, every moment is boring and filled with references to the previous films which will be all but lost on the general viewer.
If it wanted to be a legit action movie the serious tones touched on and acted out are severely undercut by the overall easiness of the plot. For example, how do you take it serious when soldiers are asking for autographed helmets by a singing superstar “sky marshall” one moment and getting shot up the next?
Production values are noticeably absent as the special effects present would not be out of place in a mid-90s PC video game cut scene with plain graphics and incredibly limited animations. The giant ants never convincingly interact with the actors and when they do, it’s to the same effect as when a kid plays with plastic GI Joes and mashes them together.
Marauder also makes a point to guarantee the viewer sees decapitations and body parts flying around, but are so cheaply produced that you’re quickly taken out of those short moments when they appear.
About the only bright blemish in this otherwise forgettable film are the “Citizen” mock propoganda ads. They are spliced in with enough satire and humor to effectively break up the overall blandness of the story. Had the director chosen to run with the theme presented in these clips, ST3 might’ve been an average experience, but as it stands it’s a failed experiment.
All things considered, the movie is too serious at times and doesn’t exploit the ridiculous angle of it all well enough, the rest of the time, to even passively watch. Most of the movie is spent on religious “who’s right, who’s wrong” rantings which never gel together and play out like a last minute write-up to add some substance to the lame premise. The bad, and sometimes comical, acting might give you a couple of chuckles, but you’re better off staying far and away from this one…it reeks of “generic brand.”
DVD/Bluray/UMD Release: August 5, 2008
[Editor’s Note: Walking down the aisles of your favorite retailer you’ll see movies that you’ve never heard of. Even if you’d like to know how they fare no one cares enough to review them! That’s where “Movie Watch” comes in…oh, and we’ll try to cover movies on Xbox Live from time to time. Because if you’re gonna spend those confusing Microsoft points on something other than games, it better be worth it, right?]
More Movie Watch:
Batman - Gotham Knight
Like a Dragon (Ryu Ga Gotoku)
Raising Jeffrey Dahmer
If you haven’t seen ‘The Dark Knight’ yet I assume you are living under a rock. While checking out Comcast’s site, I discovered a wealth of information and exclusives on the film. If you like free web games, the ‘Dark Knight’ videogame on Comcast is worth a play. ’The Dark Knight’ has been a great film for debate on our site, as some people feel it was one of the greatest movies ever made, while others didn’t share the same enthusiasm. Regardless, the film is certainly a fascinating story worth looking into.
Just visit http://www.comcast.net/thedarkknightmovie/#/videos/exclusives for 6 exclusive videos including cast interviews with Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal and more that you won’t be able to find anywhere else!
Exclusive videogame: http://www.comcast.net/thedarkknightmovie/game/
Check out the following posts on our site concerning the film:
The Dark Knight Review: Fantastic Realism
Relax Already, The Dark Knight is NOT The Best Movie of All Time!
Top Five Joker Quotes From ‘Batman: The Dark Knight’
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I think it’s cool when video games make such an impact that they’re turned into “Blockbuster Movies”. Super Mario Bros., Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil are great examples. Wikipedia has the full list. So i figured, if any video game could be turned into a movie ‘Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!!’ could be it. Without further ado, I present to you the cast of Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!! starring:
We start off with Owen Wilson playing the underrated 1-99 Glass Joe. Sure Glass lost a few, but I’m sure Owen can capture his charismatic timid self as Joe. We’ve never seen Owen as a boxer, but then again he does have a permanent broken nose. An implanted chin clef wouldn’t hurt too.
Three men and a little lady was pathetic, just as much as Tom’s mustache compared to Kaiser’s. A small applicator of Just for Men, red dye #2, and a little grease to oil up his stache tips might turn his performance into a great German Boxer.
After ‘Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story’, Jason Scott Lee can pretty much nail down any Asian Martial Artist. Strap some leather gloves on him and what you see is the ideal Piston Honda. I dare you to find a better match!
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